


The Beginning is the End is the Beginning

by blackstyx



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Carbuncle is a little helper, Fluff, M/M, NO character death please read until the end, Nyactis, Verse 2 goes wrong but gets fixed again, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:14:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27893671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackstyx/pseuds/blackstyx
Summary: Ignis doesn’t have much experience with cats, never had a pet in his life, but the cat's behavior seemed odd. Even to him. The moment Prompto crouched down close to them, the cat was halfway draped over his shoulder, purring loudly as it rubs his head along his jawline.“Wow, you’re friendly. No, but seriously, Iggy, where did you find her? He?”Brushing his index finger along his bottom lip, Ignis simply said, “The throne room.”Prompto’s reaction was to be expected, questioning eyes cast up at him, but Ignis doesn’t feel bad at the look his answer earns him. Not even when Prompto asks, “I thought the throne room is, you know, off limits?”“It is.”It is the place where everything started and ended for Ignis.
Relationships: Noctis Lucis Caelum/Ignis Scientia
Comments: 11
Kudos: 90





	The Beginning is the End is the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bluescat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluescat/gifts).



> Happy belated birthday [bluescat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluescat/pseuds/bluescat) ♥

“Never took you for a cat guy,” Prompto’s voice comes from the door, ripping Ignis out of his thoughts. Out of his musings about how they all could go on when one of them was so painfully missing. And go on they did. After discovering Noctis in the throne room. 

The image of his body slumped over, only held up by his father’s sword, is haunting Ignis and he knows he will never shake it. No matter the good memories they were making now that more people found their way back to Insomnia. It gave them all something to do, a task to put their focus on. After putting Noctis to rest everyone needed a purpose, knowing it was exactly what Noctis had wanted for them. 

He casts his eyes up from the black, furry bundle in his lap to Prompto who steps closer to have a better look at Ignis’ new companion. 

“Neither did I, but here we are.” 

The cat doesn’t move when Ignis stops patting it, only when Prompto addresses it does it stretch, immediately wide awake and completely focused on the new guest in Ignis’ sparsely decorated office. 

“Hey, buddy, where do you come from?” 

Ignis doesn’t have much experience with cats, never had a pet in his life, but the cat's behavior seemed odd. Even to him. The moment Prompto crouched down close to them, the cat was halfway draped over his shoulder, purring loudly as it rubs his head along his jawline. 

“Wow, you’re friendly. No, but seriously, Iggy, where did you find her? He?”

Brushing his index finger along his bottom lip, Ignis simply said, “The throne room.”

Prompto’s reaction was to be expected, questioning eyes cast up at him, but Ignis doesn’t feel bad at the look his answer earns him. Not even when Prompto asks, “I thought the throne room is, you know, off limits.” 

“It is.”

It is the place where everything started and for Ignis.

The decision had been made after carrying Noctis out. Ignis still remembered the sounds the three of them made as they helped Noctis off the throne, trying to be as careful as possible despite knowing he was past feeling pain anymore. Some nights he still could hear the echoes of these sobs and wails and the idea of stepping back into this room, knowing what had transpired, the three quickly came to the conclusion it should be closed for an indefinite time. 

None ever asked why. Not Cor or Iris, all of them took the orders without so much a blink of an eye. 

Yet soon after the announcement had been made, Ignis found himself for the first time within the walls of the throne room. Despite the work laying ahead of them, sleep didn’t come easy for him. Night after night he found himself roaming the floors of the still empty Citadel, searching for something he knew he wouldn’t find; at least not in this life. And was this even life anymore? With his sole purpose being gone, Ignis was faced to reevaluate his place in this world, figuring out - with the rest of his friends - what to do and where to go. It became clear very soon how the majority of people relied on Ignis’ view and input and while it kept him busy during the day, it was the night keeping him restless while being surrounded by the familiar darkness. Sometimes he wondered if he was the only one adjusting only slowly to the change Noctis’ sacrifice had brought them, but he never asked any of the others, not ready to share such an intimate thought of himself. 

It was in one of these moments, lost in thought about his future, he found himself in front of the throne room. He had been the one entrusted with the key, knowing he would be adamant in not giving it away unless it seemed necessary. Ignis wasn’t even sure why he constantly carried it with him, but that night he was thankful as he unlocked the doors and pushed them open, the sound echoing from the walls. Prompto and Gladio had quarters in the city, saying it might be an advantage being close to the people who have returned; Ignis didn’t have to worry he would wake anyone let alone being caught. 

Night after night he would return, eyes cast on the empty throne. He remembered the picture of King Regis sitting there as they bid their farewell before heading out to Altissia, but Ignis remembered seeing Noctis sitting on there for the first time more clearly as the memory is more fresh. More hurtful. It is always this image chasing him out again no matter how desperately he tried seeking solace in these walls. Even more so with Noctis’ funeral approaching quickly. 

Ignis had wished for a more suiting situation, more official as a last thank you, but he also knew Noctis wouldn’t have wanted a huge event with hundreds of people attending. Not trying to hide what they were planning, word got around still and the day Prompto, Gladio, Cor and Ignis made for the mausoleum where Aulea was resting, they were welcomed by a large group of people. While Ignis didn’t recognize some of the faces, he was sure they had every right to be here. The biggest and certainly most welcome surprise was finding Ravus and Aranea, as well as Biggs and Wedge in attendance and his heart grew heavy upon seeing Cid and Cindy, Weskham, Dave, Monica, Talcott, Takka, even Wiz was there as well as Holly; all the people they had befriended on their journey. Which was now coming to its final end. 

It was on this night when he found the throne not being empty anymore. Curled up and sleeping soundly, Ignis found a long haired black cat lying on the seat. As the damage in the roof hadn’t been fixed just yet, it seemed the most likely way for the cat to enter, if it weren’t for the fact how high up the throne room was located. Ignis was so surprised upon seeing the animal he immediately took his leave, not wanting to disturb the cat’s rest. When he returned the next night, the cat was awake, facing the full moon shining through the hole in the ceiling. It took a moment before the cat noticed Ignis despite the noise the doors had made upon entering, but when it did the whole demeanor changed. As if in greeting a loud meow was directed at Ignis and a moment later the cat was down the stairs and stretching up Ignis’ legs to get his attention. 

The street cats Ignis had met in his life had been far from this trusting to strangers, then again this cat didn’t seem as if it was living on the street, the long fur - while a bit tangled - didn’t look unkempt and it also looked well fed. 

For a moment Ignis looked down at the cat, into those striking blue eyes, and without even thinking about it twice he leaned down to pick the cat up. 

A month has passed since then and the cat hasn’t left Ignis’ side, but it is the first time one of the others noticed his new companion. And while Ignis is aware of the still lingering question Prompto probably has, about him going against what they agreed on, he remains silent.

“Uh, does it have a name?”

“No, I thought it was presumptuous of me to force a name of my liking on the animal.”

Apparently his answer is good enough for Prompto as he nods along while patting the cat, smiling as he watches the animal being halfway draped over Prompto while still keeping its connection with Ignis. 

“You know what its fur reminds me of?”

It is an unexpected question, but one Ignis hoped for. 

“You mean its color?” he asks, only noticing on his periphery Prompto’s short nod. 

“Maybe this little fur ball got sent to us, you know? Just a sweet reminder he is still around.”

Ignis wants to dismiss such a sentiment, far too rational to believe there might be some higher power involved which kept their best interest in mind. Everything they did since Ignis had offered himself to the Kings of Yore to negate Noctis’ fate had been declined, despite how sure they were, how certain the future - even if part of a prophecy - could be changed. So no, he doesn’t believe the cat got sent to them despite how similar the color of the fur was to Noctis’ hair. Despite the blue of the eyes. Despite them both noticing the connection.

Yet he says none of it. Prompto mourns differently, he needs a positive outlook and it wouldn’t help him listening to Ignis’ unmercifully take on the matter. 

“Anyway, just wanted to check in on you as I was around. Might come by more often now,” he smiles. A smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes and mirrors Ignis’ own. 

“I’d most definitely appreciate the company.” 

As it seems the cat isn’t too fond of the idea to let go of its new friend, but eventually it's all curled up again in Ignis’ lap, purring contentedly. Ignis has to admit the touch and also the sound was soothing and he finds himself working more efficiently through the stack of papers he needs to go through, keeping his mind more grounded instead of wandering off to all the different scenarios why things were the way they are. 

By the time he is ready to call it a day, night slowly creeping over the horizon, the cat is still sleeping and Ignis can’t help but chuckle. “Prompto is right. You do show some similarities.” Then again weren’t cats notorious for sleeping all the time? Either way, not to disturb his friend's rest, Ignis carefully takes it in his arms and leaves the office. 

Since finding the little bundle, Ignis hasn’t returned to the throne room. And even now walking past it seems easier. Prompto’s words come back to Ignis’ mind, but he shakes them off. He is done with the Astrals, their scheming, and inability to save the ones who offer so much in return. 

Ignis has taken quarters in his old room; across his highness’ chambers. Maybe it is wrong of Ignis to cling to such comforts, to hold onto some form of routine, but the more he does the easier sleep finds him. Even more so since his companion arrived. Every night for the past month do they go through the same pattern. Ignis gets ready for the night before while the cat looks for a comfortable waiting spot, watching Ignis picking one of his books for his evening read and the second he slips under the covers he is soon joined by a warm, fluffy ball, curling up on his chest. 

At first it was strange, not sure how to react upon this kind of closeness, but eventually the purring, the feeling of the soft fur against his skin felt comforting. And like everything else since this little fluff ball stepped into his life even sleep comes easier. 

Not tonight, though. Maybe it was the conversation he had with Prompto. He still doesn’t feel bad for stepping foot into the throne room despite their promise for it to stay closed. And he doesn’t feel bad for not disclosing his reasons why either. However, his mind does return back to Prompto pointing out the color of fur and so Ignis takes a moment to look at the cat more closely. For his rational mind it does seem like a big coincidence how similar it is to Noctis’ hair, same for the eyes. A small part does want to believe there is more to it than meets the eyes, some kind of sign to ease all of their troubled minds. 

“Who are you?” Ignis asks softly while his fingers glide through the fur, but the cat is already fast asleep. And maybe Ignis should follow its example as he starts to feel dizzy. Maybe he hasn’t drunk enough throughout the day, maybe stress was indeed finally taking its toll on him. It must be because when Ignis takes his eyes off the cat, another furry being sitting by the end of the bed catches his eyes reminding him of the small plush toy Noctis had carried with him as a child. 

The only difference is this one seems to be very much alive. 

Slowly to not scare it off, Ignis slips out of bed and takes a careful step towards it. 

“You’re Carbuncle.” He has no idea if the little Astral understands him, a lot of people not even being aware of smaller deities beside the Hexatheon exist as they were never mentioned in any records and their presence on Eos had been long forgotten. Until Noctis bestowed his knowledge gathered during Reflection upon them and suddenly his imaginary friend Carbuncle seemed a lot more likely. Even more so now as two brown eyes watch him curiously as he stepped even closer. 

Ignis isn’t sure what the tiny creature wants from him and when he takes another step, he finds Carbuncle getting up and heading out of his room but stops at the end of the hallway to look at him.

“You want me to follow you?” He is sure an eyeroll is beyond this little deity, but Ignis can feel it is there and so he starts moving, only casting a short glance at his new companion who is still fast asleep. 

Before he can lose sight of Carbuncle, Ignis heads out to follow him and is surprised when their way through cleared corridors and halfway fixed rooms leads them to the throne room. Ignis is sure the doors had been closed when he passed them earlier, but a small gap is there for Carbuncle to slip through and Ignis has to push them just this much more open to get inside as well. 

Except for Carbuncle, who sits at the top of the stars underneath the throne, and him no one is there and it leaves him clueless what they are doing here. Yet he doesn’t have the chance to ask as Carbuncle releases a small cheep and the scene behind Carbuncle changes, looking like a thinly veiled image of a past memory. A memory Ignis still holds dear in his heart. It is of the day he met Noctis for the first time. This tiny eight year old looked so uncertain when he was presented with Ignis, a complete stranger, to be told to give his whole trust to him. Ignis remembers the grip on his hand, how Noctis’ face softened and the smile that followed. Of course Ignis remembers the words King Regis spoke to him as well, to take care of Noctis. 

It is hard for Ignis to swallow, feeling as if he had not only failed Noctis but also Regis as well. 

“Do you lead me here to mock me?” he asks the small creature, uncertainty of the reasons for its visit sitting heavy on his mind. 

Ignis had been so sure of himself, so sure they could turn the tide and safe Noctis. Everyone seemed so sure of it. Which made the defeat even more devastating and he knows he isn’t alone in trying to find the mistake they made even if it is too late.

He doesn’t expect a reply so it doesn’t surprise him when Carbuncle comes down the steps and makes it way outside the throne room. Apparently they are not done for the night. Again the deity leads Ignis through corridors and up to the private quarters of the royal family. This time the doors of Noctis’ room are open and Ignis comes to a full stop. He doesn’t want to follow Carbuncle, doesn’t want to see the discarded clothes he would find strewn across the furniture. He doesn’t want to see the empty bed. He doesn’t want to go inside. 

Another cheep and then another can be heard from the room and eventually Ignis’ feet carry him closer and inside and with each step his heart grows heavier. Everything inside the room looks exactly like the day they had set out for Altissia and Ignis remembers it all oh so well. For a moment he wants to reach out, smooth out the shirt Noctis has left on the back of a chair, but he pulls back before his fingertips can touch the fabric, scared it might turn into dust. 

When he turns to Carbuncle, who sits on a small chest at the end of Noctis’ bed, it is a different memory he gets shown. 

It is of him sitting by Noctis’ side after the Marilith attack.The injuries on the prince's back were severe and for a while it didn’t look like he would make it. At first Ignis sneaked into the bedroom, not sure if he was allowed to keep Noctis company or if it was maybe even expected of him. Once Regis found him reading to his son and didn’t scold him, it became Ignis’ routine. Straight after his Citadel duties and classes he would return to Noctis’ bed where he would tell him about the day, read him from a book, or just sat silently while holding his hand. Weeks passed and when Ignis felt Noctis’ hand in his own moving, relief washed over him. He was so happy, all he wanted to do was letting everyone know.

Yet the moment he wanted to get up, Noctis’ grip tightened. Not much, but enough to make Ignis still. And then, spoken so softly, he heard Noctis’ voice, “Don’t tell them. Not just yet.”

And of course Ignis listened. He sat back down again and kept Noctis’ hand in his own until he got the sign to inform Regis and the medical staff. 

Carbuncle’s cheeps tore Ignis out of his thoughts, the image in front of him slowly fading away, leaving the bed cold and empty. 

Before he can ask any questions, Carbuncle already heads out of the room again, this time a bit quicker than before and Ignis has to walk swiftly to catch up. This time they make their way down. Down, down, down they go, deeper into the bowl of the Citadel until Carbuncle disappears behind the doors of the training area. 

The image is already there for Ignis to see, a young Noctis trying to fight him but constantly losing focus. Frustration rose in him, Ignis remembers it well. By the time their training intensified, people kept reminding Noctis how he was supposed to take his father’s spot. A constant reminder at what cost it would happen. Noctis never spoke about it, but Ignis could feel it, feel the fear and anger rising with each stab he tried to land, each blow Ignis evaded. And then Noctis’ fist connected with Ignis’ face. Maybe it was the sound of Ignis’ nose breaking or the blood, but it shocked Noctis and he immediately tried to fix it, apologizing over and over again. Ignis never held it against him, understanding the pressure this young man was feeling. The bump in his nose was still a constant reminder of what had transpired and the reason why Noctis started to confide in him more openly. Not with violence, but with words. Nearly every night Noctis paid Ignis a visit, talking while Ignis did smaller tasks like mending a shirt. Some nights Noctis wanted Ignis’ thoughts on the matter troubling him, other nights he just came to speak. The nights Noctis asked if he could stay Ignis knew the nightmares became too heavy for him to fend off alone. 

This time Carbuncle doesn’t wait until the image starts to fade, instead leading Ignis up to the rooftop gardens. A small part already knows which memory he would see and his already shattered heart aches even more. 

It was here they kissed for the first time. It was here they confessed their feelings. It was here Noctis told Ignis about his father’s decision to send him out to Altissia to marry Luna. The memory Carbuncle evokes is, however, of their first kiss. That day it had been raining heavily, but Noctis had asked Ignis to join him on a little adventure anyway. They sneaked through the secret passage and while it still didn’t sit right with Ignis not to report this blatant security breach, he still followed Noctis to a tiny little shack. By the time they arrived, they were soaked to the underwear, but upon seeing Noctis’ reason why he wanted to come here - the box with a litter of kittens hidden behind more boxes and clutter - he didn’t mind anymore. The mother arrived shortly after, not paying too much mind to either Ignis or Noctis as she got back inside the box to feed her kittens. Noctis brought some fish for the mother to eat herself and Ignis watched him feeding her in return. 

Seeing Noctis so carefree, seeing him more like his actual age, it let the feelings he had been harbouring for such a long while glow even brighter. Noctis was his world and it took Ignis a while to understand these emotions weren’t born out of the promise he had made to a king, but because of who Noctis was at his core. And it took Ignis, smart and observant Ignis, far too long to realize that what he felt was more than just friendship. It was the only secret Ignis had ever kept from Noctis, was sure he would never confess to him. 

That was until they returned to the Citadel, laughing and joking as the downpour started to grow even heavier, and they finally arrived on the rooftop garden. They knew they should go back inside, dry up and change clothes to avoid a possible cold, but the color of the sky, the lilac and purple mixed with different shades of blue from the storm that was brewing in the distance, kept them there, huddled together. Ignis listened intently as Noctis talked about wanting to be a cat, how no one would judge him then for his constant sleeping. It had been a spur of the moment reaction when Ignis told Noctis how he already resembled a cat as he wrapped an arm around Noctis’ shoulder to pull him closer and placed a chaste kiss to his temple. Immediately he was aware of his faux-pas, ready to apologize and ask Noctis for forgiveness, but was silenced by Noctis’ lips. It was surprising and too short for Ignis to fully comprehend in this moment. They made up for it later, taking their time to explore each other’s mouths and lips. And necks. And bodies. But this moment was still perfect in Ignis’ heart and mind. 

Yet with each memory he gets shown, Ignis grows more and more tired. Seeing it all again, being reminded of the bright future he had been sure laid ahead of Noctis - of them - and knowing it was all gone, it nearly broke Ignis completely. 

This time he only reluctantly follows Carbuncle, not caring or even asking why he gets led back to the throne room. So far he didn’t get an answer when addressing the deity and he doubts it might change now. 

When the image starts to appear, Ignis doesn’t want to watch, the memory of it still too fresh on his mind. Of the picture of Noctis nailed to the throne, of Gladio trying to get it free, the sobs coming from this man when he noticed Noctis moving each time he reached for the sword. Prompto had been nothing but a crying ball on the stairs while Ignis had taken Noctis’ hand in his own, pressing it against his lips. It was still warm. It took awhile for Gladio to free Noctis and even longer for anyone to move again. All of it happened as the sun rose again, immersing the throne room in orange and gold.

Unlike the last images and memories, it doesn’t stop here. Ignis watches as they carry Noctis’ body out of the throne room yet the focus stays on the seat. He can’t make out what exactly it is he sees, but it slowly takes form and he wonders if it is happening in this moment or is once again a picture of the past. 

It is when the form darkens Ignis is finally able to connect the dots, he finally understands. His eyes search Carbuncle’s, the deity looking pleased at him. And then Ignis just runs back to his room. He isn’t sure what to expect or what he might find, all he knows he needs to make sure what he experienced is true. If his conclusions are right. 

But when he arrives in his chambers, he still finds the cat asleep on his bed. Just the cat, nothing else. Carefully he walks over and looks down at the animal, hand reaching out to caress its fur when the cat rolls onto its back and exposes its belly. There, right in the middle, Ignis sees a red, long scar. It is still no proof. If the cat had lived on the street before it got adopted by Ignis, it could have gotten in the one or other fight. 

Fingers glide through fur again. This time Ignis speaks carefully, softly, “Noctis?” It is a wish he speaks into existence and yet doesn’t expect it to be fulfilled. For a long moment he just stares at the cat, waiting for something, anything, to happen. Slowly embarrassment creeps up Ignis’ body, thinking himself foolish for believing a fever dream he had been chasing through the night could be real. 

Tired. Ignis is so extremely tired. With a resigned sigh, he closes his eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay. His hand stays connected with the cat, but it changes, feels different and he pulls his hand away. And when he opens his eyes again, he knows he is still trapped in a dream. 

Before him, entangled in his sheets, he finds Noctis’ sleeping form. Right where the cat has been sleeping only seconds ago. Ignis wants to be elated, wants to pull him into his arms and celebrate, but he is scared. What if he touches him and it all goes up in smoke and ashes? 

Ignis holds his breath, not sure what to do or say, when Noctis moves. There is a tiny sound leaving his lips as he rolls to his side and it is then Ignis notices the tail. It leaves him baffled, uncertain what it means, if the person he saw in front of him was still Noctis or not. 

“Took you long enough.”

The voice startles Ignis, more because it is so familiar and so dearly missed. His eyes flick from the tail to Noctis’ face, noticing the cat ears sticking out of his longer hair, and then blue eyes focused in on him.

“Had to ask Carbuncle to help you connect the dots,” Noctis says with a soft smile on his lips. 

It still seems unreal to Ignis, a dream he doesn’t want to wake from. So all he does is stare at Noctis who slowly sits up. But not without struggling with his tail first. 

“That takes time getting used to,” he comments not without amusement and when he looks at Ignis again, holding his hand out for Ignis to take, he adds, “I’m here. I’m really here.”

Ignis looks at the hand, the urge to take it, caress it, kiss it is there. But so is the fear. 

In the end it is Noctis who moves first and Ignis watches him gracefully getting on his knees, the sheets pooling around his middle, and framing Ignis’ face with his hands. 

“It’s me. It’s me,” Noctis repeats over and over again while he leans in. Ignis feels his breath against his lips, feels the warmth of his skin, and then he feels his lips press against his own and he finally crumbles. Finally allows the relief to take over and kisses Noctis back. He doesn’t know how any of it came to be, sure Noctis can answer at least some of his questions, but it doesn’t matter. At this moment he doesn’t care who gave them this second chance. All he cares for is pulling Noctis into his arms and tasting him on his tongue again. For a long while he keeps seeking assurance by touch and taste and Noctis doesn’t seem to mind, indulging him however he pleases as his tail wraps around Ignis’ wrist. While still a strange sensation, it amuses them both, their giggles filling the air when they notice.

“Imagine Prompto and Gladio’s faces.”

“Or Cor’s for that matter,” Ignis quips as his fingers card through long strands of dark hair. Ignis is sure it might take a long while until the fear of losing Noctis again will be replaced by the happiness they deserve, but it is a road he is willing to take knowing he doesn’t have to walk it alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for taking the time to read ♥ comments = love


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